SLEEPING DOGS LIE

by Kevin Koehler

Bobcat Goldthwait probably thought he was rather clever, even provocative making this film. We're talking about Bobcat Goldthwait, after all, the oddly-voiced star of such seminal 80s viewing as Police Academy 2, Hot to Trot, Police Academy 3 and, well, Police Academy 4. Who would expect Bobcat Goldthwait, filmmaker, to make a romantic comedy about a woman who once fellated her dog and then dedicate said picture to his mother? Such are careers redefined; Bobcat Goldthwait doesn’t simply act in bad comedies, now he writes and directs them, too.

Amy (Melinda Page Hamilton) doesn’t really know why she did it. There she is, reading a book before bed when the idea strikes. It’s one of those random, irrational impulses that most ignore but Amy does not, either out of boredom, experimentation, or even because it seemed funny at the time. “I’m not into bestiality in any way,” she assures us. That’s good to know, but now Amy has burdened herself with a great secret, one she fears will one day have to be revealed out of some misguided need for complete and total honesty. Like to her fiancé, John (Bryce Johnson), a nice enough guy who proposes to her in one of those cute ways nice guys are always doing in movies. For true intimacy, Amy feels certain closets must be opened, their skeletons revealed; it just so happens her skeleton is that of a dog possessing one, singularly-pronounced bone.

After the perfunctory establishment of the film’s major players - including a smitten coworker, Ed (Colby French) – the action transitions to the home of Amy’s (Meet the) parents (Geoffrey Pierson, Bonita Friedericy). Despite John’s best efforts, it seems no man will ever be good enough for their perfect little girl. Obviously, they don’t know she’s sucked off a dog. Amy also has her resentful, drug-abusing brother Dougie (Kack Plotnick) to contend with; it would quite unfortunate if Dougie were to find out about Amy’s embarrassing secret. One can imagine the surefire comic possibilities should he overhear Amy telling John about her canine sexual liaison and the dinner table confrontation that would certainly ensue.

The dog fellatio business isn’t a terrible idea for a motion picture. It just happens to be the only idea Mr. Goldthwait has, and even then the basic conceit – repentance for a past sexual transgression - is cribbed from Kevin Smith’s Chasing Amy (a picture that is just about superior to this one in every way). Goldthwait wrote the film in three days and shot it in sixteen; it shows. Sleeping Dogs Lie aims to be subversive (the opening sequence features Amy spitting dog semen into a sink) with its aberrant high concept but ultimately settles for, without irony, the clichés and tropes of mainstream, multiplex romcom garbage (it’s once again worth mentioning that this picture played to applause before the Sundance cognoscenti – it screened during the 2006 Film Festival). The film simply does not have the courage of its own button-pushing introduction. “It was like it something that happened to someone else,” Amy tells us. “Like a movie I had watched, not starred in.” We empathize, as the film actively distances Amy from her original sin. Amy does not seem like someone who would blow a dog (she unquestionably does not want to repeat the experience), as that person would have to be rather antisocial in other, obvious ways - it practically did happened to someone else.

It might be interesting to see that picture, the one about someone who actually would blow a dog; except that film hasn’t been made already, and thus there is nothing for this one to copy from. Rather than say anything about hypocritical sexual mores and pious virtue, Goldthwait would rather film dogs and dog shit and call it a visual theme. It wasn’t funny the first time. After a family member dies, a relationship ruined, and 88 minutes of insipid running time passes, Amy grudgingly concludes something the audience had figured out long before the opening credits (or simply read the pun-tastic title). I’ll save you some time and money: if by chance you fellated a dog, keep it to yourself.

Interesting footnote: Sleeping Dogs Lie is not Bobcat Goldthwait’s first attempt at directing. He also helmed the 1992 cult classic Shakes the Clown, a veiled satire of the stand-up comedy circuit featuring the director in the title role. Though it was quite maligned by critics upon release, Shakes has drawn vocal support from the likes of Michael Stipe and Martin Scorsese. REM even produced a song entitled Binky the Doormat, based on a character from the film.

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